So many women I work with identify confidence as their biggest number one day to day struggle, however, what these women also have in common a feeling of being stressed, anxious, depressed and over-whelmed.
Of course there’s a good reason for this link.
Having true confidence comes from feeling secure in what you’re doing or who you are. Without that deep sense of security, there’s no stable base to ground you, so you really just wing it on a day to day basis. You can only wing it for so long before you start feeling insecure and unsure of everything around you and all that you are.
We here all the time that confidence can be learned, and to a certain extent I agree with that, but the confidence which can be learned is really quite superficial and doesn’t provide you with that sense of grounding you need which makes you unshakable.
It’s easy to develop the kind of superficial confidence you can get when doing your job, or delivering a presentation for work for example, those things can be rehearsed, prepared for, learned and practiced.
But I call that kind of confidence superficial because it really is only surface level.
True confidence comes from deep inside you, it comes from knowing who you are, having awareness of your Ego mind and being connected to your True Self so you live more authentically for you and not everyone else. This is the kind of confidence which makes you unshakable.
The biggest cause of lack of confidence when being a mother is being so busy in your own mind, so distracted by life and so consumed by the ramblings and judgement of your Ego mind that you’re completely disconnected from what I call your ‘True Self’.
In short, you’re living for everyone else, and not you. Doing things in your life that perhaps you believe is expected from you, succumbing to society pressures and who or what you should be like as a mum and not what you feel innately that being a mother is for you.
When you become a mother, it’s your greatest opportunity for spiritual growth because there’s nothing more grounding and powerful than the love of your child. There’s also nothing else in the world that can push your Ego triggers and insecurities the way your children can either. This is a great thing, believe it not, because with awareness and the ability to be open to learning more about yourself to grow spiritually, this is a prime opportunity.
However, the Ego being triggered can be terrifying, it will make you question yourself and without awareness it makes you live an inauthentic life. This living of an inauthentic life is really what causes your lack of confidence and ultimately unhappiness.
Sadly, the more you’re caught up in your Ego mind, unable to see what’s real and what’s essentially the real you, the harder it is to disentangle yourself, become grounded and reconnect to your True Self. This is when other symptoms start to happen such as anger, frustration, low mood/depression, anxiety, obesity and the list goes on…
If you want to feel more confident and happier in your life, then you need to learn to understand your Ego mind, make friends with it, become aware of your triggers and insecurities so you can choose to not let them live your life for you.
There is no greater confidence than knowing and understanding who you are and being connected with your True Self. That kind of confidence is unshakable because really, it’s the only thing that’s real. It’s directly connected to the Divine and is pure with love.
It doesn’t know fear.
So how do you start? Well mindfulness meditation, yoga conscious journaling, self-compassion practices are all fabulous ways to start tuning in and connecting.
But none of these practices will work without your desire and intention to be open to seeing your Ego mind and its insecurities for all it’s true nature. In short, you’ve got to want to see yourself truthfully! Warts and all, and then be prepared to take responsibility and work on them.
I always recommend by starting with conscious journaling… when you write consciously and just let the pen flow without trying to control the process or what you write, you begin to connect to the voice of your True Self. The Ego starts its ramblings and you can begin to see patterns in how it plays itself out in your life, often in self sabotaging ways.
However, the more you write, the quieter the Ego becomes as you begin to understand it’s true nature. Then the magic happens, the voice of the True Self will start to be heard and your connection renewed. Living from a place of being connected to your True Self will naturally bring your life in to alignment with the Universe and you’ll notice life flows better for you. You’ll have more peace, and you’ll definitely have more confidence!
Don’t believe me, give it a go and let me know how you get on.
Tip! Use Bergamot essential oil in your diffuser or burner while practicing your conscious writing exercise. Bergamot has always been used to enhance spiritual connection and awakening as it allows you to deeply relax, let go of emotional tension and spiritually connect to your higher consciousness. I always use Bergamot when I’m meditating , cleansing my chakras and practicing yoga.
Click here to learn more on how essential oils can help you live green and clean, and get some Bergamot in your life, so you raise your vibration and detox mind, body and soul.