Christmas is meant to be about forgiveness, love, giving and sharing right?
A time where you put all worries and quarrels to one side and for just a day be merry and bright… Unfortunately, for some, this isn’t the case.
These days Christmas doesn’t quite have the same meaning or outcome it once did.
Today Christmas can be a time of stress, and discord as people’s expectations escalate and the pressure rises.
However, despite the pressure, you don’t have to buy in to the stress. I’ve come up with 3 essential mindful tips to help you have a merrier Christmas and really tap in to that true Christmas cheer.
The reason why Christmas carries the level of stress it does is because of fear of judgment from other people. What will other people think of me, what will they say if … fill in the blanks.
Fear from judgement of others is what creates this pressure to keep up with or out do your neighbour/friend or family.
Start this Christmas by letting go of the need to be like everybody else, ask yourself what does Christmas really mean to you? What are your values around Christmas, then act accordingly? If you believe in a big pile of gifts wrapped up under a tree, then go with that, however if you don’t, then change things this Christmas to suit your beliefs. If you don’t you won’t be living in alignment with your true values and this cause deep conflict and resentment, which really doesn’t make for a merry Christmas but a stressful, resentful one instead.
Many people give because they want back. This isn’t just true for the obvious like Christmas gifts, but it’s true for things like time, affection, energy etc. If you’re planning a spectacular Christmas feast or party for everyone else’s pleasure, make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons. Do a little soul searching, is this for everyone else’s pleasure and joy, or are you doing it with the expectation that people will give you something in return.
Do you expect something from those people who you’re bending over backwards for? If you’re giving from your heart it must come without expectation of something in return, because if you don’t get back what you want this can cause huge resentment and is often the reason for many Christmas quarrels.
It’s important to make a choice, you prepare the gorgeous Christmas feast with love, because you want to give and let go of expectation for anything in return, or you arrange something which you’re happy with and that you’re not going to martyr yourself about.
A little tip here, people, no matter who they are, don’t owe you anything. Never have expectations of anyone for anything, then you’ll never feel disappointed or angry because you feel taken for granted or your secondary gain needs aren’t being met.
- Go with the flow and practice acceptance!
One of the most common causes of stress and anxiety is trying to control what can’t be controlled. Stop trying to control or make things ‘perfect’ this Christmas. This is another huge cause of stress and discord over the festive period. Everyone has their own sense of perfect and this can lead to big clashes around plans and the perfect ideology. Be the person who just go’s with the flow and I guarantee you’ll have a merrier more relaxed Christmas than the person who’s trying to control everything and everyone to the point of driving themselves barmy with stress.
Practice acceptance of what is, let yourself feel the comfort of peace and true perfection when you actually stop trying to control everything to make it “perfect”. Perfect already is, you don’t have to try so hard for it.
Practicing these 3 top tips is the best gift you could give yourself and your family this Christmas and I guarantee will lead to a merrier Christmas for all.
However, if you do find yourself a little stressed and need a quick de stressing tool, you can get my free Chaos to Calm meditation over at my website! Or you can join my Facebook group Live With Passionate Presence where I’ve shared a video talking about how to de-stress this Christmas, so you can just go with the flow. Happy Christmas!