Do you believe as a mum today that life’s harder than a hundred years ago?
Do you believe it’s possible for women to strike the perfect work/ family/ you time balance?
Is there such a thing?
I personally believe balance comes from within us. It’s not something that can be found outside of yourself by setting yourself up to fail as you ‘chase’ your allusive work life balance… Doing that, or believing balance is something you have to achieve is your Ego mind playing tricks on you and setting you up to fail so it has more power at keeping you from your True Self and in short just being happy.
Balance is a state of knowing who you are and what’s right for you in the present moment which is the only moment of time that’s real.
Let me share one of my little stories with you…
Not so long ago, on a warm and sunny Sunday I was actually supposed to be attending a networking meeting (business related) but it started to feel stressful, I could feel myself getting agitated as I was starting to get ready to leave my home and set off for the meeting. As I watched my husband preparing the family picnic I could feel myself resisting having to go and starting to project my negative feelings outwards on to him and my environment.
As a result, my kids were getting agitated, our energy always affects them and not the other way around.
It’s always us as parents that are the bigger transferrers of energy because we’re the ones with the bigger Egos!
Anyway, knowing this and feeling that something was off, I had to make a decision… Do I push ahead and be determined to make my career a priority with an ‘I will succeed as a business woman and a mum’ attitude, or I can just let go, be honest with myself about the importance of this meeting and the need clearly to spend the day with my family relaxing and playing.
It was a case of what my ego felt I should do, and what my True Self wanted and needed. Your True Self always knows what you need, and see’s past what the Ego makes you think you want…
So often the voice of your True Self is ignored or simply drowned out as your ego reigns terror and makes you live by what you think you should do and not what you want to do.
The truth is that meeting wasn’t that important, it was an extra, a bonus maybe, and honestly it would have made no real difference to my business me being there. I was giving up my Sunday because it was what others wanted, and what I thought I had to do, not what my heart and my True Self really wanted. It wasn’t what was best for me or my family.
My higher, wiser self knew this. What was important was that I take the day to be with my family, because for whatever reason that’s what deep down inside of me I really wanted to do that day.
Being connected to my True Self, I could feel what was the right move and I let go of the need to fight against what was authentic and right for me in that moment.
And that’s where balance comes from… it’s not about creating perfect outside of you circumstances or activities that allow you to focus on work one day and relaxation or play the next. These things are important but pushing to make them happen at the wrong time causes imbalance, not balance.
True balance comes from being connected to your True Self, your inner guide and being able to feel what’s right for you at the right time in that moment only, so you’re able to move in the direction which is best for you. You’re able to go with the flow, surrender and trust that all works out as it should.
No one wants to live their lives doing stuff they think they should and never really doing the things they want to do.
That’s what causes the imbalance, the stress and the sense of overwhelm, and it’s this idea of pushing, striving, having to prove you can have the perfect career and family, and work/life balance, which is causing you to believe you can’t have it all. You can have it all, but you can’t do it all… When you realise this, it’s a case of figuring out what it actually is you really want to do, and not what you think you have to do.
To know this, you have to go inwards, not outwards.
As always, connect and let me know your thoughts, leave a comment below, or join me in my Facebook group Make Time Essential for Me